Okay, eviction notice! No, jk. Give me at least another week, so the baby room is ready. Everyone I know is going overdue though, so for all we know I could have this baby anytime between later today (unlikely) and more than a month from now (oh please no.)
No joke, I am more nervous this time around than I was for Nicole. Part of the thing is, Nicole is soooooo excited to have a baby. IMMA HUG YOU AND SQUEEZE YOU AND LOVE YOU AND CALL YOU GEORGE. That kind of excited. I’m considering babywearing 24/7 just to protect the poor infant. You have no idea, you haven’t seen how she loves on the dog. She is a tiny little dog, she weighs about the same as a slipper. The other day I caught Nicole trying to shove the poor thing head-first into a sand bucket. The dog isn’t THAT small. Good thing I happened to peek out at just that time. I mean, I’m sure baby will love her back, goodness knows the dog does. I guess if somebody doesn’t judge you for eating your own poop, you’re willing to look past things like being shoved into small places.
If you’re wondering, I do not look past poop-eating. She may be a cute little frou-frou dog but she is NOT sitting in my lap after eating poo. Sorry. You may have my pity, my protection, and my care. But do not expect my cuddles.
Tangent aside, another thing that has me nervous is how tired I’m going to be. Not that in itself, but the whole ‘brainless zombie person’ thing. Here I’ll have a three year old running around trying to love on the dog and the baby. I’ll be, I dunno, standing in the bathroom drooling and staring at the toilet, trying to remember how it works. Next thing you know, it’s 5pm, the baby has been shoved in a sand bucket, there’s toilet paper in the oven and chicken breasts in the toilet, the dog’s eating poop, and Nicole is repainting the livingroom ‘rainbow’. Chris will come home and I’ll gurgle something unintelligible, hand him the bucket of baby, and stumble off to bed.
Actually, I don’t know what I’m so nervous about, it’s Chris who should be quaking in his boots right now. Maybe don’t tell him, it can be a surprise.